Part 2 - The Best, The Worst & The "At Least Watchable" Horror Movies of 2013 (to date)

Written by Scott Ruth

Last time out I left you all with my list of 10 "middle of the road" horror films from 2013. These were the films that weren't awful but they also weren't the best that the genre had to offer over the past 10 months or so.

Click here to check out Part 1

Now we're moving on to the worst horror films of the year to this point. There are only 8 films on this list but most of these were complete abominations and a total waste of time and money. Sadly many, if not most, were quite successful at the box office which goes to show you just how soft the movie-going public has become. Cheesy, run-of-the-mill supernatural movies, made for those same unfulfilled horny housewives who can't get enough of TV shows like American Horror Story, Sleepy Hollow and the new Dracula series, have been dominant at the box office for a while now. Any chances of that changing any time soon? Not likely considering that every television season we are bombarded by more of these shows which are more like gothic versions of 50 Shades Of Grey than they are actual tales of horror. End of rant. 

Now on to my choices for the worst horror films of 2013, in no particular order..

The ABC's Of Death - It seems that anthology genre films are all the rage these days. As a matter of fact the only other sub-genre more popular with filmmakers is the aforementioned flimsy supernatural thriller. The ABC's Of Death takes the anthology idea to the extreme with 26 short films. Each segment is based on the alphabet, beginning with A and naturally ending with Z. Unfortunately for most of the segments the letter "Z" followed by a few more Zzzzzz's seems to fit best. There are a few standout segments which include "F is for Fart" which is more bizarre than it is scary, "J is for Jidai-geki", which takes the idea of Japanese sword fighting to a new level and "Q if for Quack", a short that is sure to overjoy those who oppose animal cruelty. There are a few other segments that are somewhat enjoyable but those are outweighed by the abundance of senseless and rather unoriginal. Perhaps The ABC's Of Death Part 2 will show us that the next group of filmmakers have learned from the mistakes of their predecessors. 

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The Conjuring - Alright, alright. Stop throwing tomatoes! It's only hurting your computer screen! The Conjuring, like so many other supernatural "thrillers" is chock full of the usually cheap jump scares and the same old tired "haunting movie" tricks that uninspired filmmakers have been using since the beginning of cinema. The film was "inspired" by the "true to life" adventures of Ed and Lorraine Warren, self-professed psychics and paranormal investigators, as they are haunted and taunted by a dark entity in their rural farmhouse. The film stars Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, is directed by James Wan and would have better served as a made-for-TV movie airing on Discovery Channel, Travel Channel or one of the countless cable networks that is forever running these "my house is haunted" and "I got gang-banged by a group of anorexic, dyslexic ghosts while filing my tax return in 1973" type of television shows. The Warrens have a less than credible track record having been involved in bogus "investigations" including the Amityville Horror and many scripted investigations for the horrible tv show "Paranormal State" which happens to be the most phony of all of today's paranormal/supernatural "reality" series. Even allowing for suspension of disbelief when it comes to my distaste for the Warrens, I still found The Conjuring to be a totally useless rehashing of a dozen other supernatural genre movies. This film is perhaps the most overrated movie of the past decade!

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World War Z - What do you get when you take a zombie story based on an amazing piece of writing by Max Brooks, combine it with a stiff actor like Brad Pitt and make sure that it's appealing to audiences of just about any age? You get World War Z, a watered down zombie story featuring lightning fast zombies that move more like insects than they do the living dead and a story that may be relate-able in our age of fear of the "end times" if it weren't so poorly executed. In the end, it's nothing more than an average apocalypse scenario type film, no greater than other similar films such as The Day After Tomorrow and I Am Legend. With no real zombie-on-human nor human-on-zombie violence I honestly saw no purpose for this film at all. I believe that the studio took a book that they knew would automatically have a large, built-in audience and used to in a lame attempt to cash in on the success and popularity of AMC's hit series The Walking Dead. Nothing more. Skip it. Even if it's free, skip it. You'll never get the 2 hours of your life back once you've wasted them on this train wreck of a film. 

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The Best, The Worst & The "At Least Watchable" Horror Movies of 2013 (to date) Part 1

Written by Scott Ruth

I figured that since I've been away from writing for a straight year that I'd get back into the swing of things with a "catching up" kind of article....a "what's been great", "what's been, at the very least, worth checking out" and a "what would be better off had it remained a tiny thought in the mind of it's creator, lost to one too many beers or one too many hits on the bong" list of the genre films to hit so far in 2013.

This'll likely serve as an end of the year best, worst and average list since it's most likely safe to assume that we won't see anything great coming out over the next two months, but maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised with something great. 

Due to the amount of information herein, I'll be breaking this down into three segments.

Let's begin with the middle ground. These are the movies that, although they may not have set the world on fire with anything groundbreaking, they're all certainly worthy of at least a one-time viewing....

In no specific order...

Skinwalker Ranch - Written by Adam Ohler and directed by Devin McGinn, Skinwalker Ranch is loosely based on true events that reportedly "shocked the paranormal community around the world"! In the film, a team of scientific researchers are called in to investigate the disappearance of a 10 year old boy, who mysteriously vanished off of his family's cattle ranch. If you're not into found footage films, then you'll most likely not be interested in this film, but I urge you to consider checking it out as it's one of the better films that the sub-genre has had to offer in quite some time. Although it adheres to the standard found footage formula, there are a few really good scares thrown into the mix as well as a few unexpected twists. 

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Texas Chainsaw 3D - Director John Luessenhop takes the familiar tale of everyone's favorite Texas-based family of cannibals in a new direction in Texas Chainsaw 3D, the seventh film of the franchise first began by creator Tobe Hooper back in 1974. This time around, we meet a young lady who is summoned to Texas by the attorney for her recently departed Aunt. It seems her Aunt, who she didn't even know, left her a rather large estate as an inheritance but little does she know that this inheritance includes a fateful run-in with a chainsaw wielding madman! I have to admit that I really didn't care for this film at all when I first saw it on opening night at the theater. As a matter of fact, I disliked it. I suppose I was expecting something else. I'm not sure what, but what we got in this film is far from what I expected to see. Upon it's release on DVD and Blu-Ray I decided to give it a second chance. This is when I became a fan of the film. Why did I have a change of heart? Well it's simple. When watching it the second time around, I watched it as if I hadn't already seen it and I made sure to have no expectations whatsoever. This is when I realized how much fun the film it truly is. I think the best way to enjoy Texas Chainsaw 3D is to look at it in the same way you would regard Tobe Hooper's Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Take everything in the tongue-in-cheek manner in which it was intended and you're sure to have a fun time watching. 

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The Purge - Written and directed by James DeMonaco (the writer of such films as Jack, The Negotiator and Assault On Precinct 13), The Purge tells the tale of one wealthy family's evening of terror when they find themselves the target of a group of masked maniacs during the one night of the year where there are no laws and all crime is legal! The Purge is one of the most hyped genre films of the year. Does it deserve the hype? Yes. And no. Although it certainly is an entertaining film with some good jump scares and the basic idea, society that has taken things to such an extreme as to allow for one night a year where "anything goes" and everything is legal, is a frightening one, I can't say that it's anywhere nearly as revolutionary as some may try to make you believe. This isn't to say that it's not a good film, because it is worth checking out however it's nothing that hasn't been done before in countless  other home invasion films that came before it. 

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V/H/S/2 - If you saw 2012's V/H/S/ then you know what you can expect from this, it's sequel. Once again we're treated to a number of short horror films that are found on a collection of mysterious V/H/S/ cassette tapes. This time around 2 private dicks are searching for a missing student when their investigation leads them to commit a  breaking and entering when they happen upon an old house where they may, or may not, find the "target" of their investigation. The same formula from the first film is used once again and as was the case with that one, it's a matter of hit or miss with each short. Some are decent, some bad and at least one, the final segment, is tremendous. As a matter of fact, that  final segment makes watching the entire film worthwhile. There's plenty to wet the whistle of all of you gorehounds out there and a few of the short stories are actually quite entertaining. It isn't one of the year's best, but it's worth your time so I suggest checking it out. 

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The Last Exorcism 2 - For a filmmaker, there are two ways of approaching a sequel to a found footage movie. The first is to stick with what worked (or didn't work, depending on the particular film) and film your sequel as yet another found footage film, just as was done with Paranormal Activity. The second possible approach is to abandon the found footage style (whether it worked the first time out or not) and go with a traditional film, such as was done with The Blair Witch Project 2. For the sequel to 2010's The Last Exorcism, director Ed Gass-Donnelly and his team of writers, chose to let go of the found footage gimmick and take things back to the basics. The film is a direct sequel to the original, and begins as Nell is trying to rebuild her life after the horrendous events of the first film. Before too long, the new normality of life that she is enjoying is shattered as the evil force has returned to make Nell's life a living hell. Part of what made the first film as great as it was happened to be the fact that it was a found footage style film. It had a very real feel to it (as is the intent of all found footage films even though many fail miserably while trying to convey that feeling of reality) which allowed the viewer to feel as though you were right there, experiencing the same agony that Nell and the other characters were going through. That same reality is the one thing missing with The Last Exorcism 2. Ashley Bell is once again terrifyingly wonderful in the role of Nell but this time around the sense of danger, or pure horror, isn't as intense as it was in the original film. That being said, it still deserves a loyal audience as it's far better than most other paranormal films out there currently, many of which made my "worst of" list. 

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Review of "The Dead Matter"; the directorial debut of Midnight Syndicate's Edward Douglas

Review by Scott Ruth

Chances are, even if you're not familiar with the name Edward Douglas, or his group Midnight Syndicate, you've, more likely than not, heard their haunting horror and halloween music.

For the past fourteen years, dark music pioneers Midnight Syndicate have been creating Halloween music and gothic, horror, fantasy soundtracks for the imagination.

Their music has appeared at a large variety of halloween and other haunted attractions including Universal Studios' Halloween Horror Nights XVIII and Hugh Hefner's infamous Halloween parties, in movies such as Robert Kurtzman's The Rage, and featured on television shows including Monday Night Football and the Barbara Walters specials. In 2003, Midnight Syndicate teamed up with Hasbro and Wizards of the West Coast to produce the first ever soundtrack to the classic RPG Dungeons & Dragons! Additionally, their music has even been used in Xbox games, on tracks by Academy Award-winnning rap act Three Six Mafia, and Twiztid, as well as in concerts by legendary punk band The Misfits and in a concert pre-show for horror metal God, King Diamond!

Now, what are the chances that you've never heard their music? Slim to none, I'd say.

In 2010, Edward Douglas of Midnight Syndicate turns his attention to the horror movie field, writing, co-producing (With Robert Kurtzman and Gary Jones), directing and composing the score to his first feature film, The Dead Matter.

The Dead Matter stars Andrew Divoff (Wishmaster, Lost), Jason Carter (Babylon 5, Beverly Hills 90210) and Tom Savini (From Dusk Til Dawn, Maniac), co-stars Sean Serino (as Gretchen), Tom Nagel (as Mike), C.B. Spencer (as Jill), Christopher Robichaud (as Frank) and Brian Van Camp (as Mark the zombie) and follows the tale of an ancient vampire relic called The Scarab. An old school vampire named Vellich (Played by Andrew Divoff) seeks to possess the scarab in order to control the dead (Yup. Zombies!), thus reigning supreme over all of mankind. Unfortunately for Vellich, a vampire hunter named McCallister (Played by Jason Carter) has been more than just a thorn in the side of the ancient sinister vampire, and because of McCallister's actions, the scarab ends up in the hands of Gretchen, a young woman who is devistated by the death of her brother, for which she blames herself, and who will do anything to have her dead brother back in her life. Vellich seeks to regain control of the scarab, but he has more obstacles in his way than Carter has pills. (What an antiquated reference that was, no? Ah well. I'm gettin' old.) Vellich must overcome the fact that the scarab is now in the grieving and insanely desperate hands of Gretchen, vampire hunter McCallister is constantly foiling his plans to recover the relic, and another ancient vampire, turned drug lord, named Sebed (Played by Tom Savini), who wishes to rid himself of pesky Vellich, as well as Vellich's old fashioned ways. Oh, and ontop of all of that, there's a sinister company known for producing a wide variety of products such as a Zombies board game, and an amazing weight loss program, which may give those using it more than they bargined for.

I have always felt that vampires and zombies are not-so-distant cousins, and therefor I've always been partial to films such as Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space, and even The Spierig Brothers' film Daybreakers, which took an advanced variation of vampirism and gave those aflicted with this advanced version many of the same attributes that we have always seen in zombies. The Dead Matter brings together vampires and zombies, in a similar way to the fashion in which Ed Wood did with Plan 9. This fact automatically drew me into the film, but even had that not grabbed my attention instantly, the writing in this film, as well as the score, the wonderful acting, especially by Sean Serino, who may not be a household name but she is absolutely wonderful in this film, and atmosphere & set work, that is so reminescent of those films of the 50s and 60s, that I grew up with, and will always have great love for, would certainly have quickly won me over, making me a diehard fan of the film.

The Dead Matters has a little bit of Ed Wood, a pinch of Sid & Marty Krofft, a smattering of Joe R. Lansdale's Bubba Ho-tep and even a tad of tv's Charmed, mixed together with Edward Douglas' unique vision and take on a vampire story, coupled with one of the most incredible movie scores ever (Original music by Edward Douglas and Midnight Syndicate) to create a throwback to the legendary horror movies of yesteryear.

Great casting, humor (Used only when it works, and never forced), some cool gore, wicked FX by Robert Kurtzman of KNB efx, fantastic set design, awesome atmosphere, a unique take on vampire lore and a phenomenal score make The Dead Matter one of my favorite films of the last 2, or 3, decades!

"The Dead Matter" has earned itself 4 and 1/2 out of 5 Lon Chaneys!

If you watch this film and don't have a great time, I'm sending the zombie of Tor Johnson to your house to shake some sense into you!

Let The Face-Off Begin! A review of the lucha libre slasher film "Wrestlemaniac'!

A review by Scott Ruth

When you think of a slasher film, somehow the world of professional wrestling does not instantly pop into your head. Sure, there was the slasher film, "See No Evil", produced by WWE Films and which starred pro wrestler Glenn "Kane" Jacobs as well as it's up-coming sequel from The Soska Sisters, but overall, wrestling is not usually synonymous with horror films. And even "See No Evil" didn't actually attempt to meld wrestling with horror. 

"Wrestlemaniac" (which is also titled "El Mascarado Massacre" in some markets) does just that. The films tells the tale of  an amateur porn film crew that takes a wrong turn while driving through Mexico, where they soon discover that the local Mexican legends concerning a murderous luchadore may have some element of truth. The crew starts out driving down a dusty road when they decided to make a wrong turn in the middle of nowhere, and now it's beginning to look like they may never find their way back to civilization. They stop to use the restroom of an old, seemingly abandoned service station. There they meet a stranger (played amazingly by horror icon Irwin Keyes) who gives them directions back to the one and only highway in the area. He also warns them of a local ghost town where evil deeds take place, instructing them to make certain that they do not stop at this town, but rather avoid it at all costs. Naturally, the producer (and co-star) of the would-be porn film sees this a the perfect place to stop and shoot their movie. Upon pulling into the eerie ghost town of "La Sangre De Dios," the crew begins hearing whispers of a psychotic luchadore named "El Mascarado"  (played by Mexican wrestling legend, Rey Misterio, the uncle of WWE star Rey Mysterio Jr.) who, according to the legend,  tears the faces off of his victims and leaves them to bleed to death. As night falls,  the crew begins to make their nasty little adult film, unaware of the fact  that they're all about to become combatants in the most hardcore Mexican death match ever and their opponent makes the WWE's Undertaker look like a pussycat. 

The film also stars Adam Huss, Margaret Scarborough, Jeremy Radin, Catherine Wreford, Zack Bennett and former WWE Diva Search contestant (as well as game show "Deal or No Deal" model) Leyla Milani. 

The overall cast is a rather generic one, with none of the "porn crew" members who really stand out, other than Huss who is such an annoying jerk that you find yourself wishing for his early demise. Sadly, none of the women in the cast can scream very well, which is usually a required skill when one is hired to work on a horror film. 

The two standouts in this film are the great Irwin Keyes, whose screen time is far too short as he is wonderfully creepy in the role of service station attendant, billed simply as "The Stranger" in the credits. And Rey Misterio Sr. is fantastic as the maniacal luchadore who must disgrace his unwilling opponents by removing their faces. (This is a  nod to the tradition of Lucha Libre, because in Mexican wrestling, the ultimate dishonor is to have one's mask removed by an opponent.

Writer and director Jesse Baget was not seeking to make the next big revolution in horror films with this one. His  goal was to make a slasher film with a slightly different villain and entertain the viewer. And he did just that. This is one of those films where, if you turn your brain off, and don't expect anything new or awe inspiring, then you will surely enjoy the movie. Leave your inner-cynic at home and just have fun. 

"Wrestlemaniac" is unrated but contains sex & nudity, violence & gore, profanity, and drug use/reference and is available on DVD.

"Wrestlemaniac" earns 3 &1/2 out of 5 Lon Chaneys. I wish Irwin Keyes been on screen more,  and it would have been nice if the women in the cast could scream properly, but overall, it's the kind of cheesy film that's just simply fun to watch.