The Best, The Worst & The "At Least Watchable" Horror Movies of 2013 (to date) Part 1

Written by Scott Ruth

I figured that since I've been away from writing for a straight year that I'd get back into the swing of things with a "catching up" kind of article....a "what's been great", "what's been, at the very least, worth checking out" and a "what would be better off had it remained a tiny thought in the mind of it's creator, lost to one too many beers or one too many hits on the bong" list of the genre films to hit so far in 2013.

This'll likely serve as an end of the year best, worst and average list since it's most likely safe to assume that we won't see anything great coming out over the next two months, but maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised with something great. 

Due to the amount of information herein, I'll be breaking this down into three segments.

Let's begin with the middle ground. These are the movies that, although they may not have set the world on fire with anything groundbreaking, they're all certainly worthy of at least a one-time viewing....

In no specific order...

Skinwalker Ranch - Written by Adam Ohler and directed by Devin McGinn, Skinwalker Ranch is loosely based on true events that reportedly "shocked the paranormal community around the world"! In the film, a team of scientific researchers are called in to investigate the disappearance of a 10 year old boy, who mysteriously vanished off of his family's cattle ranch. If you're not into found footage films, then you'll most likely not be interested in this film, but I urge you to consider checking it out as it's one of the better films that the sub-genre has had to offer in quite some time. Although it adheres to the standard found footage formula, there are a few really good scares thrown into the mix as well as a few unexpected twists. 

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Texas Chainsaw 3D - Director John Luessenhop takes the familiar tale of everyone's favorite Texas-based family of cannibals in a new direction in Texas Chainsaw 3D, the seventh film of the franchise first began by creator Tobe Hooper back in 1974. This time around, we meet a young lady who is summoned to Texas by the attorney for her recently departed Aunt. It seems her Aunt, who she didn't even know, left her a rather large estate as an inheritance but little does she know that this inheritance includes a fateful run-in with a chainsaw wielding madman! I have to admit that I really didn't care for this film at all when I first saw it on opening night at the theater. As a matter of fact, I disliked it. I suppose I was expecting something else. I'm not sure what, but what we got in this film is far from what I expected to see. Upon it's release on DVD and Blu-Ray I decided to give it a second chance. This is when I became a fan of the film. Why did I have a change of heart? Well it's simple. When watching it the second time around, I watched it as if I hadn't already seen it and I made sure to have no expectations whatsoever. This is when I realized how much fun the film it truly is. I think the best way to enjoy Texas Chainsaw 3D is to look at it in the same way you would regard Tobe Hooper's Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Take everything in the tongue-in-cheek manner in which it was intended and you're sure to have a fun time watching. 

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The Purge - Written and directed by James DeMonaco (the writer of such films as Jack, The Negotiator and Assault On Precinct 13), The Purge tells the tale of one wealthy family's evening of terror when they find themselves the target of a group of masked maniacs during the one night of the year where there are no laws and all crime is legal! The Purge is one of the most hyped genre films of the year. Does it deserve the hype? Yes. And no. Although it certainly is an entertaining film with some good jump scares and the basic idea, society that has taken things to such an extreme as to allow for one night a year where "anything goes" and everything is legal, is a frightening one, I can't say that it's anywhere nearly as revolutionary as some may try to make you believe. This isn't to say that it's not a good film, because it is worth checking out however it's nothing that hasn't been done before in countless  other home invasion films that came before it. 

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V/H/S/2 - If you saw 2012's V/H/S/ then you know what you can expect from this, it's sequel. Once again we're treated to a number of short horror films that are found on a collection of mysterious V/H/S/ cassette tapes. This time around 2 private dicks are searching for a missing student when their investigation leads them to commit a  breaking and entering when they happen upon an old house where they may, or may not, find the "target" of their investigation. The same formula from the first film is used once again and as was the case with that one, it's a matter of hit or miss with each short. Some are decent, some bad and at least one, the final segment, is tremendous. As a matter of fact, that  final segment makes watching the entire film worthwhile. There's plenty to wet the whistle of all of you gorehounds out there and a few of the short stories are actually quite entertaining. It isn't one of the year's best, but it's worth your time so I suggest checking it out. 

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The Last Exorcism 2 - For a filmmaker, there are two ways of approaching a sequel to a found footage movie. The first is to stick with what worked (or didn't work, depending on the particular film) and film your sequel as yet another found footage film, just as was done with Paranormal Activity. The second possible approach is to abandon the found footage style (whether it worked the first time out or not) and go with a traditional film, such as was done with The Blair Witch Project 2. For the sequel to 2010's The Last Exorcism, director Ed Gass-Donnelly and his team of writers, chose to let go of the found footage gimmick and take things back to the basics. The film is a direct sequel to the original, and begins as Nell is trying to rebuild her life after the horrendous events of the first film. Before too long, the new normality of life that she is enjoying is shattered as the evil force has returned to make Nell's life a living hell. Part of what made the first film as great as it was happened to be the fact that it was a found footage style film. It had a very real feel to it (as is the intent of all found footage films even though many fail miserably while trying to convey that feeling of reality) which allowed the viewer to feel as though you were right there, experiencing the same agony that Nell and the other characters were going through. That same reality is the one thing missing with The Last Exorcism 2. Ashley Bell is once again terrifyingly wonderful in the role of Nell but this time around the sense of danger, or pure horror, isn't as intense as it was in the original film. That being said, it still deserves a loyal audience as it's far better than most other paranormal films out there currently, many of which made my "worst of" list. 

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Storage 24 - A military plane crashes over London, England, spreading debris across the cityscape, forcing the city to become locked down. A group of people find themselves trapped inside a self storage facility during the lockdown and before long they come face to face with the top secret content of the downed plane's cargo-hold! To be perfectly honest there's nothing new in Storage 24. It's all been seen many times before but that doesn't stop the film from being enjoyable in a SyFy sort of way. Now don't get me wrong, Storage 24 isn't as cheesy and cheap looking as most of SyFY's movies but it does share the same fun sensibilities that most of the modern "made for SyFy" originals.

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I Spit On Your Grave 2 - This film came so close to garnering a spot in the 10 best films of 2013 segment of this 3-part article. I Spit On Your Grave 2 is a sequel to a remake of a classic film. More often than not that sort of pedigree doesn't bode well for a film but every now and then there are exceptions and this is one of those cases. Well actually it's not a sequel in the truest sense of the word. It's more or less another tale of a horribly abused young woman who, once she's escaped from her captors, plans and plots a scheme to exact a revenge that is as horrendous, if nor worse, than the abuse that she had experienced. Once again, there's nothing new to witness in I Spit On Your Grave 2 other than a few rather unique means to torture and kill another person, however if revengeploitation flicks are your bag of tricks, if "boy meets girl, boy tortures and rapes girl, girl gets loose, girl comes back and gets even"sort of movies are your cup of tea, then I Spit On Your Grave 2 is sure to give you that warm and fuzzy feeling deep inside. Now if you're a light-weight when it comes to violent films, well then that feeling will be closer to an unsettling nausea rather than a warm and fuzzy feeling but to that I say tomato-tomahto!

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American Mary - Jen & Sylvia Soska, the brains behind 2009's homage to grindhouse flicks, Dead Hooker In A Trunk, are at it again. This time around The Twisted Twins have brought to us the tale of Mary Mason (played by Ginger Snaps' Katharine Isabelle), a med school student struggling to make her way through medical school, who is easily seduced by the thought of making big bucks as a surgeon to those people who want the kind of procedures performed on them that your average surgeon would be unwilling to perform. The look, feel and tone of the film is reminiscent of many of the films of the great David Cronenberg, as well as the work of Nicolas Winding Refn. It's cold and clinically "clean" yet dark and gritty at the same time. Like I Spit On Your Grave 2, American Mary came within a inch of making my list of the year's 10 best horror films. I'm a fan of both Cronenberg and Refn but I wish the Soskas would try harder to find a style of their very own. They are so amazingly talented but they rely too often on their influences rather than seek out their own unique style. Perhaps we'll see them do just that with their next film, WWE Films' See No Evil 2. 

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Bad Milo - Horror comedies are very hit or miss for me. More often than not most of them are on the "miss" side of the scale but every now and then one comes along that really tickles my funny bone, while disemboweling me as I laugh. Bad Milo is one of those horror comedies that really hits the mark. It's not one of the best of it's genre, it's certainly not in the same league as films like Shaun Of The Dead, Fido and Student Bodies, but it's still a lot of fun. Duncan (played by "Reaper" & "Eastbound And Down" co-star Ken Marino) has been having more than his share of gastroenterological impairments. In layman's terms, he's been having bad gas pains whenever something in life stresses him out. He's not the kind of guy who expresses himself very well and when he tries to bury his stress deep down inside, the discomfort worsens. Eventually Duncan learns that the pain and agony that he's been experiencing has been caused by a pint-sized demon living inside of his asshole! It's goofy, it's silly and it's totally beyond anything inside the realm of possibility and that's what makes it such a fun movie. You may not be scared, hell, unless your recent burning asshole pain is causing you to believe that you have your own ass-demon, there is no way that Bad Milo will cause you any kind of fret, but not all horror-related movies have to be scary. Sometimes ridiculous comedy with some good gore mixed in is just what the doctor ordered!

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Hell Baby - The only reason that Hell Baby is not on my list of the 10 best horror films of the year is the fact that it's a horror comedy. I decided to disqualify this film since it's more comedy than it is horror. It may not make sense, but hell, I make a lot of decisions in my daily life that make little, to no, sense so why would this be any different? In Hell Baby, Rob Corddry (Children's Hospital) and Leslie Bibb (Trick 'r Treat, Midnight Meat Train) play an expectant couple who move in a new home which happens to be the most haunted house in New Orleans. Before long it becomes apparent that their unborn child just may be a demon! I mentioned that Bad Milo is not in the same league as horror comedy greats such as Shaun Of The Dead and Student Bodies however Hell Baby is worthy of occupying a space of the DVD or Blu-Ray shelf next to other horror comedy works of art. 

Ok. That's it. Those are the 10 "very good but not quite good enough to be among the 10 best horror films" of 2013.

Stay tuned as very soon I'll be unveiling my picks for the worst and best genre films of the year....so far anyway....